Are we gettin' something out of this all-encompassing trip?

You know, I honestly stopped expecting this, but every once in a while, things really do (eventually) work out.

Four months after leaving my last job, nearly running my savings dry and having to do call center work for a month just to pay the bills, I finally landed a profession that I can restart my career with. Instructional technical writing. It'll be contract through a staffing firm and then hopefully to hire, so it's only guaranteed for six months, but it serves three purposes: 

• It pays considerably better than the work I've been doing for the last month (or any position I've ever had, in fact) and will allow me to build my savings back up.
• The company and work I'm doing is a bit specific, but the company is well-known in its field and the experience will be invaluable for whatever my next step ends up being.
• If I enjoy the work (as I ultimately hope I would) and am brought on permanently, it's a real opportunity to build a career to help brace against whatever challenges I will face in middle age, and I can at least finally feel like some form of adult.

I'll be starting a week from Monday. I'm hoping to use this coming week off for productive pursuits, which will likely at least involve scrimping together money for a nice haircut and beard trim, as well as a few new pieces of office-appropriate (or at least public-appropriate) clothing and face masks. It will be weird to be going back to an office again, albeit only part-time, but I'm honestly ready for it. I've been fully vaccinated since the middle of May, and I've grown to resent my apartment with not having anywhere else to consistently go for the past 16 months. 

I will probably also be bothering the property managment company who owns my apartment to make sure the HVAC system isn't busted. I've already replaced the air filter and it's still 75 degrees in here at 12:15 am. On the whole though, It will be nice to have an entire week to myself knowing the bills will still be paid without the endless existensial dread of not being employed in the United States in 2021. I currently plan to be in a better living space when this lease is up in November if at all possible, whether I remain in OKC or try my luck somewhere else. 

I don't know what the next step is past the next few weeks, aside from paying bills and building my savings back up. But it does feel gratifying to know that I really was good enough to find something new. Imposter syndrome really started to set in at the end of my last job and ended up being a self-fulfilling prophecy of sorts. Not being able to find a new equivalent job for months made it feel even worse, to the point of being nearly unbearable. But to borrrow an old SNL line, I proved to myself that I was good enough, I was smart enough, and doggone it, people liked me. With work, a lot of luck and some help from an effective recruiter, I have a job I feel suits me and pays me something closer to what I feel I'm worth, at least for now. 

I need to get back to a gym and start working out regularly again. I need to get back to taking care of my physical and mental health too. Also, I probably need to get back to writing more often. Hopefully I'll actually do something with this blog this time, or at least have the energy to post more than three posts here. If I get up to it sometime this week I might blog about hockey or something. My beloved Tampa Bay Lightning look primed for a chance to repeat as Stanley Cup champions. Game 1 of the semifinals against the New York Islanders is on Sunday afternoon, so get ready for more insufferable hockeyposting on the social media platforms. It'll be nice to just relax, watch hockey, and know that the sports world isn't the only place I can have hope for. 

I still don't know what the next step is going to be. But at least I know for sure that it's there. No sense in spending time alone redigesting past regrets anymore. On that note, some Pearl Jam to sign out with. I'll try to actually post more this time.

-AJ